december bliss.

pixie lights, music, red bows, warmth, love, snow, magic...

 

december bliss.

 

did this make you giddy?

 

(of, course it did).

see ya around, cupcake.

happy monday.

 

happy monday.

this could be a break-through in the medical field...

if you're distressed or suffering from a raging case of...

the bieber fever...

feast your eyes...

 

 

(do you feel cured?)

 

i don't know, maybe i'm being cured of the bieber fever, because i laughed much too hard; so hard my dinner almost went out my nose. oh my heck, ron's face - golden.

once a belieber, always a belieber? um...

 

because i have a bladder the size of a peanut.

you know the question, 'if you could choose one super power, what would it be?'

well, m'friends, i'm here to give you that answer.

if i could have any super power, i would never ever have to go to the bathroom ever, ever, ever again.

 

no bladder, no bowels, no toilets.

 

i know how strange and uncomfortable this may be for you to be reading this right now, but allow me to enlighten you...

 

tell me, how many times do you go to the bathroom everyday? and tell me, how much time would that add up in a week? a month? A YEAR? A LIFETIME?

 

so much wasted time, no? and yet, it's a sad and disgusting necessity of the weak human race. think of the time you could use instead of those daily, unavoidable visits with your dear little john. and think of how many trees one could save because there would be no need for toilet paper. and what about the water, oh holy mother of pearl, the water!

 

think of it, a world with absolutely no worry of it over-flowing, no diapers, no toilet cleaners, no "lighting matches", no waiting in long lines at restaurants and stores, no looking like an idiot doing the potty dance, no laughing so hard you almost pee your pants, no looking for the nearest gas station, no waking up in the middle of the night because nature calls, and most importantly, Mr. Rogers, (remember Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood?) would not have died of bladder cancer. what a nightmare.

 

so you see, i'm not that weird.

 

if i had a super power, i would just never ever go to the loo again...ever.

 

 

tell me, what super power would you choose?

 

(leave a comment, i'd love to know).

 

 

this post is dedicated to Caitlin.

 

Katy xxx

My life since...

...August?

Oh, dear, has it been that long? Alright, well I guess there's not much time to doddle, let's get to it, then!

oh, but where to begin?

okay, let's see, um...

- I've developed an obsessive magazine collection. Vogue, Marie Claire, Oprah, Elle, Woman's Day, others...

 

Yes, I know, this is not an entirely proper way to begin a-hello-&-welcome-back-here's-a-quick-look-into-my-wild-&-extremely-strange-life kind of blog post, but I happen to have the lovely face of Keira Knightly staring at me from the October Vogue right beside me - 'twas the first thing that I thought of.

 

 

- I've discovered I have social anxiety. Yes, I know, again not exactly the right thing to say to hit off a long over-due post. But, true.

- Chocolate makes me feel better.

- I am employed.

- Chocolate peppermint truffle candle. A vanilla candle is still my favorite.

My weekends now most usually consist of snuggling in a blankie and listening to sopranos.

- Tea is very much my cup-of-tea. I drink 4-5 cups a day.

 -I am very much a glove person. (& a hats person).

- Peppermint gum, peppermint oil, peppermint tea.

- I've discovered I am also an obsessive organizer.

- I really like making lists.

- Insurance is gross. Pardon, I should rephrase - paying for insurance is gross.

- Taxes are gross. period.

- I've discovered there are so many people who believe in me. like a lot.

 -I believe in people.

- I believe this list is beginning to be much too long.

 

In a nutshell, my life has been delightful - not eventful, but delightful, all the same.

 

And I'm happy to be back. Whether anyone reads my blog again, it doesn't matter, it's something I love. It's something for me.

 

But, if you are here, reading after all this time...

 

WELCOME BACK!

 

you are awesome.

 

side note: am I only one who is noticing a lot of 'chocolate' & 'peppermint' in this post?

 

Happy reading!

 

Katy xxx



i never knew i could feel like this...

...like I'm broken.

its fine - it's always fine. I always tell myself this, even when it's not. And it's not.

I wish I could find a place where I'm needed. Truly needed. Is there a place for me? Or am I just filling a space in this big world?

I try this group, that group, not liking either, and neither liking me. It's hard waking up and just feeling lost. I could just pretend I'm not and maybe it would be okay?

No.

I did that. It doesn't work. You can fake it for a little bit, but it doesn't last. It's like make-up - you can hide the imperfections with concealor and foundation and powder and whatever else, but eventually, it has to come off.

I put on a face everyday, every week it seems to change. I can't make up my mind. Just going bare and carefree (and loved for it) would be a dream come true.

It's finding that something or someone who can love and accept you without the 'make-up' that's the secret.

I don't want to feel broken like this anymore. I don't want to keep pretending. Just let the hurt go away. 

pretty weekend finds.

i thought i'd theme this week's pretty weekend finds to SUMMER. as school is starting next week & fall is just around the corner, i thought one last tribute to the 2012th summer would be fun. so...

here's to summer.

fetch me a darling summer? indeed, it was.

i'm weird. it's fine. it's always fine.

last weekend I...

spilled nail polish remover in a freshly made batch of cobbler - but it was apple so it's okay.

peed my pants. thank you bladder infection.

had a embarrassing & rather regrettable wardrobe malfunction in a pond. no, this is not the incident at this pond. whilst swimming in a pond in Idaho last weekend, the straps on my bathing suit decided to snap &... let's just say there was more of me than i would have ever have wanted my friends to see. why i always seem to become scandalously undressed in ponds, i'll never understand.

made the toilet at the Flying J over flow. it's fine.

a bug of some sort bit my right leg, six times. & he landed a nice big one of my tush...(i bet he enjoyed it, that little douchecanoe).

well, despite my unusual & indirect force to awkward & embarrassing situations, my weekend was simply a delight. when in the company of good friends & beautiful scenery, even the weirdest moments become something to smile upon.

can't wait to see what this weekend brings.

loves. xoxoxoxo.
Katy.

growing up blows.

it's being told an hour before your interview that you're gonna be kicked outta the house if you don't get hired.

no pressure.

come now, darling. don't cry - be brave.

shhhh, it's a secret.

remember the post where you could share a secret, any secret? i'm gonna try this again. & i actually had participants which made me quite giddy.

so this is how it goes: 'secrets' is an opportunity for anyone to share a secret or secrets in the comments, & you can be anonymous if that tickles your fancy. in fact, if i participate i'll be anonymous. it can be anything. sometimes, it's good to just let it out. at least, in my experience it helps.

just a few rules before you comment: (please read).

anyone can participate, you can be a anonymous or not. i won't censor anything unless it is offensive to other's feelings. do not say anything rude about the other secrets. & if i get 5 or more comments, i will participate as well. if you feel uncomfortable with posting this on my dear little public blog but still wanna get that secret off your chest, email it to lulavina (at) gmail (dot) com.

one more thing...

in my first & only 'secrets' post, there was one comment in particular that was quite interesting, indeed. oh, not in any means am i upset or offended. rather, i am intrigued.

this was the comment:

My secret is about you Katy.

You don't know who I am and likely never will. Not to come across as a total creep, but I fell in love with you the day I met you. We went to high school together and we had a few classes together. I always enjoyed watching and listening to you, but never got too involved because that's just who I am. You have an amazing charm about you that's not commonly found in most people. You are a beautiful person in every way and I always wished I would have gotten to know you better. Hope this doesn't come as too much of a shock to you, but I hoped it would at the very least put a smile on your face and make you feel special, because you are.

well, whoever you are, thank you ever so kindly. that's one of the most flattering things i've ever heard. & i would love to know who you are, because i'd like to thank you personally.

anyway, m'friends, my bright, sparkly cyber friends, go on, leave a secret. i dare you. (hehe).

dear men whom i was with at the pond & to all those who read this, i am not a slut.

"i see skin..." a young man said to me whilst pointing to my crotch.

"kinda provocative..." another young man chimed in.

no sooner, all seven men, (whom i was with at a pond) were looking at my crotch. ah, yes, there was a nice little hole in my jean shorts. awesome. my unds, & and my skin, completely revealed to the eyes of theses seven blokes. all good friends, i assure you.

later, my baggy shirt bunched up, almost coming off completely, as they picked me up & threw me into the water, also revealing my tummy that has never seen the light of day, & my striped bra made for a lovely impromptu bikini top, unintentional completely - i pulled my shirt down the moment i got the chance. awesome.

blah, imma freak. but it's like, whate'er.

the essence of a crush.

in love with la la la love. hehe.

monday muse.

obsessed.

happy monday.

pretty weekend finds.

she does have a way with words.

do enjoy your Wednesday.

pretty weekend finds.

my, my, what an adventure i've been on the last little while. so much learnt, so much lost, so much gained, so much to love. my life is full of Truth, Goodness, and Beauty.

speaking of beauty, here are the pretty weekend finds.

 perfect body.

my love will be a dancer...

the always beautiful, Natalie Portman.

dance is the language of the soul.

happy weekend, m'darlings.

the moment...

...when you feel free and light as a feather - oh, i could fly right now.

(because the heaviness in my heart has left).

oh, please can we still be like this? it's just so classy, i'm gonna die!!

Fred & Ginger - "They Can't Take That Away From Me" (1949)

xx's.

KATHRYN.

no. 1

don't be afraid to cry.

if you are a stubborn girl like me who says she's too brave to cry, shut yourself up & pull out your mouchoirs & let the tears fall. even brave people cry, it's alright. John 11:35.

KATHRYN.

"'I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!'"

no one ever told me how painful this would be.

i thought it would be simple. i didn't prepare myself for this feeling of loneliness. i feel intensely alone. no one ever told me i'd feel this way. so lost, so confused, i'm not sure who i am anymore - or who i want to be.

i used to be so curious about everything and i would go on crazy adventures to those curiosities.

i've given up now. i simply don't care anymore. i am tired of searching and looking for answers. i was sure only two months ago - what changed? why the hell did i let myself do this?

perhaps my search is over and i've found the answer, but i am not accepting the answer? everyone is telling me my answer is otherwise, and that i don't know anything. perhaps, perhaps not. i did feel fully confident with the answer only just two months ago. so why do i keep letting myself do this?

i want so awfully bad to be accepted by everyone in my life, and i'm afraid i'm letting myself give up on my thoughts, ideas and feelings for them.

it's ironic... i'm willing to throw myself away to have myself accepted? if i rid of who i am, what is left to be accepted?

nothing, yes?

so i am contradicting myself.

the question is this...

am i willing to lose who i am to be loved and accepted?

or

do i remain true and learn to be lonely?

“She ran into the icy water and stood there, holding herself against the waves with her arms outstretched, just laughing.”

“David Yates’s most vivid memory of Emma is watching her suddenly let go of her steely professionalism and for once just be young and free. They were filming a death scene from Hallows Part 1 on a freezing-cold beach in Wales. The actors were miserable, especially Emma, who hates the cold and dislikes getting wet even more. But out of nowhere, he recalls, “She ran into the icy water and stood there, holding herself against the waves with her arms outstretched, just laughing.” In that brief moment he got a sense of what it must be like to have a multibillion-dollar industry dependent on your every move and be only nineteen years old.” 

she is lovely, isn't she?

fetch me a summer: 2012th edition.

it has been one year since the birth of fetch me a darling summer. and it was this post and idea and this woman

that started it all.

it's been a lovely year, and i'm quite excited for the 2012th summer and everything that follows.

a lot has changed since summer 2011. for one: my scar has healed very nicely, and it has been the start of many awkward conversations and friendships. once a belieber, always a belieber.

i lost 15 pounds. and still losing...

my hair is below my shoulders.

i started to tan. for years i was convinced i was part albino. not so, i have golden, sun-kissed legs now. yeah, baby.

star wars is still my life's story.

i learned that life doesn't have to be perfect, and if things don't work out the way you hoped they would, it's okay.

i discovered that i have people who are rooting for me in my life, and not just people, it's almost like a team of captains and cheerleaders and superheroes, and just awesome men and women who love me so fetching much. ps, i love you back.

i learned to love my life. this was a big one for me. i get depressed much too easily, and no matter how many therapy sessions i went to, no matter how many pills i took, no matter how many people i talked with, the only person that could make me happy was... me.

and now that i've found that happiness, i want everyone i know and even don't know to find it, too.

happiness is a choice, baby.

let's have a great summer.

a girl can never have too many shoes.

i saw this and died. how divine.

Katia Raj amongst all her Gaynor Minden pointe shoes... well, a girl can never have too many shoes.

she's a ballerina from Gelsey Kirkland Academy of Classical Ballet. I've wanted to attend that academy for so long now.

it's just a dream that i fear shall never meet reality. c'est la vie, i guess.

KATHRYN.

fact:

i ruin everything.

Lend me your eyes...

...I can change what you see.

all images via tumblr.

hope your weekend is a restful one. lots of sickness going around in my family and with my friends; including my boy. hopefully i can get around not getting sick myself. the weather is rainy and that's always been my favorite kind of weather. i would love to live in a place like washington or somewhere back east, perhaps even in the UK where it's green and rainy. one day perhaps.

do tell me, what's your favorite kind of weather?

have a lovely weekend.

KATHRYN.