this blog is having a mid-life crisis...
please excuse the mess.
KATHRYN.
4.20.2012
4.19.2012
sometimes I drop birthday cakes and light kitchens on fire. it's fine.
pretty sure this is where I'm headed...
NO.
want to know why? because I choose not to. and it seems quite dull, but mostly I am a walking and talking disaster. truly, it is one thing after the other. never stopping. I scare all the men away.
this is just a short list of a fraction of the things I have successfully managed to destroy or terrorize during my teenage years. (just a fraction, mind you).
dropped two birthday cakes.
lit the kitchen on fire.
broke our very expensive camera.
fireworks in the microwave. yeah, baby. (indeed, I was stupid enough to out metal in there).
broke one washing machine.
rear-ended our car.
broke the special vase that was given to my family after my little brother died.
viruses on the computer? oh, of course, countless times.
broke my dad's headphones. (technically, I don't think this one's my fault. they were already weak, and because stuff like this always happens to me, they decided to break while I was using them. but I'm still blamed for this incident and have limited use to the headphones in the house now. it's fine).
broken dishes? dozens.
hit my friend while driving. (she's okay, though).
and the list continues...
indeed, I am on my way towards being an old maid. come to think of it, I probably already am. considering the rate my friends are going, I should at least be engaged. but that's saying the least.
and then there's the things that happen daily. burn food in the oven, run red lights unintentionally, knock stuff over, spilling water, juice, milk, etc...
so far today I've successively burned my lunch and accidentally flushed my ring down the toilet.
awesome.
KATHRYN.
4.18.2012
happy wednesday.
I believe rest is the most natural and effective way to heal. and luckily I've had plenty of sleep for the past four days and I am feeling like I could fly. It's so strange, yesterday I felt like my days of sickness would last forever. and then I woke up this morning and was a completely new and fresh person. I'm still a little weak, but my fever is almost completely gone. cheers to sleep.
tips for a lovely wednesday:
first thing you wake up go outside and...breath.
earl gray. oh, my, it's my favorite.
dance and wiggle all around. (I got my wiggles out with cee-lo green).
play pretend. if you live with children this should come easy.
deep clean. (this might be something I just enjoy but whate'er).
listen to something classy. I love the voice of the darling Katherine Jenkins.
be cheerful and gracious.
go ahead...
have a happy wednesday.
KATHRYN.
4.17.2012
because i like to flirt with attractive men on motorcycles...
me: you look a lot like Richard Sharrah.
man on the motorcycle: who's that?
me: Kid History?
man on the motorcycle: never heard of it.
me: oh, well I was just wondering if you knew him.
this conversation took place at a four way stop. there was a car on every side. yes, i was holding up traffic. no, i was not drunk. indeed, i was slightly offended when the man on the motorcycle did not know of Kid History. yes, the possibility that he was married, or gay, or a rapist did cross my mind. no, we were not honked at, although i'm sure there was cussing from every direction and perhaps the universal sign was given once or twice. and yes, that was perhaps the most defining moment of my awkward life.
Mr. Sharrah, why do you have to be so fetchin' beautiful? (in a manly way, of course).
live wild, baby.
KATHRYN.
what's wrong?
I've managed to be ill yet again. I think it's the flu again. For more than two months straight I've been sick. I don't understand. Why? In all honesty, it frightens me a little. I get the most dreadful fevers and I just lie there. It's as if I'm numb or paralyzed. I know if I get some medicine it might help it go down but instead I just stay there burning and burning. Mayoclinic.com has become a regular for me. It's pinterest, facebook, and then mayo clinic symptom checker. these are what come up:
Influenza (flu) i have 5 out 7 symptoms.
this is very possible as it's going around, but for two months??
Mononucleosis 4 out of 6.
this is highly improbable as it's nickname is the "kissing diesease" and I don't do a lot of kissing. it's too germy - kissing that is. please don't judge. I have issues with germs. It's been a serious problem in my home, family, and other relationships. if you saw germs like I do you probably wouldn't kiss so much either.
Common cold 3 out of 7.
not sure about this one. I do ache all over but the fevers are quite unusual to be a cold.
Strep throat 4 out 7.
nope. my throat isn't sore enough.
Tonsillitis 4 out of 8.
very possible. I've always had throat problems. but not confident this is what i have.
Acute sinusitis 2 out of 4.
nope. I haven't been a boogie monster hardly at all.
Hay fever 2 out of 5.
no! what the crap mayo clinic. the allergies i've had thus far this Spring season has been dust.
Epiglottitis 2 out of 5.
oh, try saying that five times fast. the systems tend to have more breathing difficulties, and I've been breathing okay. it's fun to say, though.
It looks like the flu and mono are the top picks.
gah. i should just go to the doctor's.
bloody, bloody %#$@!
KATHRYN.
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