I've been terribly ill. More ill than I have been in a long time. Physically, emotionally and whatever else there is, most call it spiritual. How many emotions and feelings can one soul experience in what seems to be a wink of an eye? I am one who hardly ever cries, (or admits to). I admit at this moment I have a tear or two in my eye and feel as if my head is going to fall off and there's a throbbing in my throat. And blast it all, my tummy hurts. It always hurts but today it is unusually painful. I don't mean to complain or to whine, truly, I don't. Because of this, people rarely know how I really feel or what is happening in my life. I keep things awfully quiet. even secret. And I'm afraid I have kept so many things locked away that they are beginning to eat me inside. There are extremely traumatic, even tragic things that have happened in my life but I never asked for help. I never told anyone. I was afraid to. I thought if I kept it hidden it would just go away. Instead, it swells up inside and pretty soon I explode out of no where, sometimes in a quiet way like distancing myself from everyone. It's almost as if I've left reality itself. I'm sure anyone close to me has seen me in deep-thought a many.

Now after reading this, I'm sure many find me quite the mental case. You're probably thinking, She should get a life. Wow, that's quite the pity-party. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Go see a therapist.

Let me tell you something: No, actually, let me ask you something: 

Have you ever been betrayed? No? then stop judging and try to understand. If the answer is yes, then you know how it feels. Everything you just read made you feel peace to know that someone is feeling the same thing. To the extent of betrayal I won't ask. I won't explain my story either.